Friday, April 22, 2011

Nursing


This picture was taken the day Calli was born. I was so proud to be nursing both of them. I could do it. I didn't really imagine then I would be looking for information on early weaning eight months later. I have been nursing for two years and eleven months straight. I want to blame tandem nursing being hard on just doing it too long, and that's part of it. Mostly though Calli is rough with me and it hurts. She wants to be up and moving around and doing something more exciting.  I get that, I feel the same way.  But when she yanks my nipple a dozen times in a nursing session I don't really want to pick her up the next time she starts signaling hunger.  I'm raw.  And it is getting to the point where I am angry with her over this.

I don't want to wean before we go on the trip because that would be a hot mess.  But I don't think this baby will get much passed her first birthday with nursing.  And I feel bad about that.  Unfortunately I have already hit my lifetime capacity on accepting unwelcome painful touch.  I love you, but no.

1 comment:

  1. i think your timeline sounds good. if you're not going to give yourself the relief of weaning sooner, then you definitely deserve the relief of knowing the end is in sight.

    i read somewhere (probably "adventures in tandem nursing" but maybe just an article) that most tandem breastfeeding mothers expect their children to wean around the same time. not the same age, but the same time. so it's fairly typical to want to be done with nursing both of them now, rather than feeling like the second should nurse as long as the first. evidence of your normalcy.

    it's amazing that this beautiful photo is you, post-birth, near-death. you look awesome.

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