Tuesday, June 28, 2011

dreams

Last night I dreamed about my dad all night.  I was a kid and he came up to Aunt Vonnie's house to visit (which never actually happened).  I asked Auntie to stay with me and never leave me alone with him.  In front of him she said, "Stop being so nasty to your father."  Then she walked out.  It was bad.

And I was awesome about sticking my fingers in my ear and going "lalalala".  Jenny's wedding coincided with the 13th anniversary of Tommy's suicide.  And my brother Jimmy's oldest son turned 10.  I will never know him because it is all my fault that Jimmy's kids don't get to have an uncle or a grandfather.

I suspect I will have a bad day.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry. I hope it hasn't been as bad a day as you suspected.

    I don't know if my saying it makes any difference, but I'm thinking it, so I'll put it out there just in case: Not only is it not all your fault, it's not your fault at all.

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