I don't think people understand what I mean when I describe myself this way. I mean that most years we watch one, maybe two new-to-us movies; Shanna has settled into about five movies that she watches on rotation. I find new music when people post a link to a video on livejournal, I follow almost no music links from facebook. I don't read the news. I reread books I already own. I don't turn the radio on. My link to the outside world is livejournal (rapidly dying) and facebook (I have cut most people from my reading list because I am too argumentative). Sometimes I read blogs but right now I feel attacked from all sides so I'm not doing that any more.
No really, I don't have contact with anyone outside my family if I don't talk to people on IM most days. I am incredibly isolated. Up until starting Sunday Dinner with A and Y the only people we see most weeks is K and her son. And we do skip weeks. I get 0-2 phone calls most weeks and I don't call people for social anxiety reasons.
Given how much I write people feel like they have contact with me. And if no one comments, I feel like I am screaming into the void. If I didn't exist, would anyone other than my children and husband notice?
And the more and more time I spend alone the more socially awkward I am. Making it harder and harder each time I try to talk to people. Till I don't really want to try at all.