Saturday, July 30, 2011

Holy crudmonkeys too much caffeine.

I AM AWAKE!!  Ok.  I'm not taking a Foosh mint at 10pm ever again.  Oh my god.  I thought I would be able to go to sleep by about 2.  Hahaha!  I am vibrating.  Excellent.  I didn't have this experience from caffeine when I was younger.  I think perhaps I was just so used to drinking copious amounts of it that I was immune?  Is that even the right word?  Acclimated?  Whatever.  I'm feeling downright sprightly.  Not too long ago I was told that it would be ok if I couldn't get everything unpacked in time for my birthday party in five weeks, we could rent a storage unit.  Today we unloaded the truck in under an hour and returned it a day early.  And I have unpacked about a quarter of the boxes.  I expect to be about 75% done by the end of the weekend.  So I'm waggling my tail in glee.  I think it is kind of sick how much joy I get from working really hard.  Do you see what it is?  I just found a little sprint!  It's So Freakin Exciting!!!  Whoo hoo!

Some wit might say, "What the heck was Scotland?"  A grueling, nightmarish trudge.  Oh man.  Ok yeah, I had fun and I'm glad we went.  But it was a buttload of dealing with absolutely nothing but the kids.  The only thing I could "get done" was laundry or cleaning up.  It sucked.  Those are not the parts of being home I enjoy at all.  That's the shit work.  (Uhh... taking care of my kids is not shit work.  I did not mean to imply that.  Carry on.)  But I hate laundry and I hate piddly cleaning up!  I want to make something!  Dangit!  I want to noticeably improve my quality of life for ficks sake!  I felt so stymied.  And we didn't get in as much sight seeing as one might hope given various anxiety and/or physical issues from being ill and/or me having to deal with Shanna being jet lagged and awful out in public for nightmarishly long stretches at a time so Noah could work.  AHHHHH.  It was, shall we say, not the best month ever for me traveling around a foreign country.  I can't handle having social engagements on more than three days out of seven or I start to freak out because I can't keep my company manners in place firmly enough.  You should picture me twitching now.  Go on.  It sucked.  But Scotland was really wonderful.  I'm so glad that Jenny is there permanently so I have a mandatory reason to go back and explore when I'm not in a crisis state!  Yay!  Well, that's almost true.  I probably would be a lot happier if she moved back here so I could see her all the time.  But that isn't happening.  I'm trying to say that the glass is half full here.  So go with me.

Anyway.  I have been decompressing from the trip and trying to reconnect socially and I've been uhh questionable on that front.  I haven't been feeling good about much of anything.  Now that Sarah is here so that I can help instead of just having anxiety from far away (yes Noah, I see the reference to the book--what book was that again?)  The only thing I had to do was prep for Sarah to get here and wait.  But she's here now!  And I helped!  I've done things much better and faster than the bar was set to.  Oh man. It's like I just got a shot of heroin.  And I had CAFFEINE!!  Seriously.  I can't do that again.

Because you see, when I'm up till 4:00am (and counting) no is posting any interesting links.  Don't you guys understand that you are my link to anything interesting in the whole wide world?  I read facebook and G+  and that is it.  Unless it is sent to my email I don't know about it.  I don't read any news of any kind.  I've basically dropped MDC (I've had a freakin relapse tonight because people have the audacity to be sleeping) and I don't go anywhere else.  I don't even know where to go.  I used to hang out on IRC but that's long gone.  I don't really want to read the news.  I'm a creepy shut in and I'm sorry for that, but I just can't pay attention to the news.  It's only focused on the most absolutely disgusting parts of humanity and they distort public perception in really creepy ways.  I'm not interested in television.  I prefer reading text.  Yeah.  I can't follow celebrity gossip because I have no idea who any of them are.  I don't know of any online communities I would maybe feel like I fit.  And I really don't have time to add one if I found it.  The last thing I need is another internet time suck.

So y'all posting interesting one-off links, that's my sole lifeline to the outside world.  So don't be shy with the links ok?  Some night I just may need them.  Right now I am totally out of tabs and it sucks.  In that silly whiny way.  I wouldn't be able to find the book I am reading and I'm done packing.  Whinge!  Whinge!

No comments:

Post a Comment