Sometimes I do things that would be very bad things for other people to do. Most people shouldn't head out to a non-sex party and pick up sex. For a variety of reasons this is true. Other people have different relationship agreements. Other people have a different emotional attachment to having sex and would be damaged long term. I feel more cheerful than I have been in literally years. Other people would be required to figure out how to get their mojo back in some other way. I don't have to. I can go pick up a fuck. It is a coping mechanism. It is one that can be very broken for a lot of people. I'm not hurting anyone. I picked a marriage where my husband not only thinks it is ok, he thinks it is super hot. I found someone who wants to cheerfully enable me in that coping mechanism.
But I feel like I shouldn't do it! It's bad! Bad! But it's not. I didn't hurt anyone. Good golly, both me and the man I picked up went home and enjoyed our partners all the more for the diversion. We are equally as good of friends now as we were a week ago. My kids were not impacted in the slightest. Where is the harm?
I sometimes break the law in ways I will not enumerate online. *ahem* I do them with great forethought and planning. I do it by very carefully weighing my options and the weight of different factors. I then make a decision for myself. I don't think that other people should make the same choice just because I do. I truly don't. I don't think that other people should use me as a role model. I think people should live vicariously as I do things they kind of wish they could do and ignore me when I do things they don't want to do. But it's never that simple.
Who am I to say that anyone else is wrong? Who is anyone else to say I am wrong? I don't know. I know that my feelings of defensiveness come from reflex shame not any actual reservations about my choices. I think my choices are bad because I think I make bad choices. If that makes sense. I think that another person doing it might be making a good or bad choice and it depends on a lot of different factors. I hate meta shit.
Sometimes my friends can join me on journeys. Sometimes they can't. That doesn't make them my friend or not. If friend was defined as someone I could do absolutely everything with... that would be kind of odd. I think.