I have stress erupting all over my life right now. But I finally hit a moment this morning where I realized that I am truly doing everything I can to fix all of the situations I am standing near and all that needs to happen is time passing. It will all get easier and better. We really have gotten through most of the worst bits.
I get to choose what kind of day I am going to have. Today is Sunday. Today my wonderful Noah is home. I get to spend time with him and our awesome kids. Sunday is a rest day. I don't clean on Sundays. (Yes, yes I know that you are supposed to rest on the Sabbath not on Sunday, but I'm a heathen.) Today my husband is going to shave my head. Eek. I need to be in the right mood for that or it would be wasting the experience. I'm not having him shave my head because I want to be bald. Clippers would be fine for removing the color. He wants the experience. He has a whole constellation of experiences he would like to have around this. I can either decide to have a good day and get my shit together and go have really good experiences with my husband... or I can be a pissy, whiny bitch. What a joy. So it's probably time to put my big girl panties on. I sent all the emails I am probably going to send today. I am thinking about a lot of things. It's time to stop thinking about them and think about other stuff. It's time to go have flow experiences. It's been a while since we have really played. This is going to be interesting to be challenged right now. He wants me to give him something of mine. He wants part of me. Part of me that I have never shared with anyone in my life.
I kind of have to be present for that. It wouldn't be just to be otherwise. I think my phone will stay in the garage on vibrate. I will probably check it at some point, but I have a date today. I'm busy.