I wrote up a long post yesterday. Apparently my computer ate it. Internet in my house is very flakey. I am not impressed. Thank you to the folks who are worried about me. I appreciate people checking in. It makes me feel loved. I was pinged more than once yesterday. It made me smile.
Life is really busy. I'm anxious and fussy and exhausted. I'm thinking a lot. I'm really struggling with the running. In a fit of desperation yesterday I poked a friend and strongly hinted that she would be physically capable of doing the marathon with me. I didn't think it would go anywhere. I was being a pest. Within an hour or so she had arranged to fly from a different state and stay with her family so she can run with me. She'll pretty much only be there for the race. So she can hold my hand.
I need to go run and cry about how very unworthy I am right now. I'm really grateful that I have her to look forward to at the end of this training, now. It gives me a lot more impetus to not quit. I've been feeling sad and overwhelmed. I can do the running. I am struggling to deal with the fact that this running is making me too tired to really be functional doing a lot of other things. I have seven weeks of training to go. It's feeling too long. Too hard. But now I can't quit. Now there is no option in any way shape or form of quitting.
I'm really glad. I was starting to feel like a quitter in my head. Like there isn't a point in me doing this. There isn't much point in me doing anything besides wiping other peoples asses and washing dishes.
But someone wants to run with me. I won't be alone. I've been singing various songs about her. Her name rhymes with "don't have to be alone" if you get the syllables right. I don't understand why she cares enough about me to just up and do this. But I'm really grateful. I'm really grateful.