Sunday, September 23, 2012

And thus closes another Folsom.

Someone said to me today, "Your friends aren't very nice." It's interesting to me that my response was, "They aren't my friends. They are people I know."

Lots of thoughts. Where is the line between consent and abuse? What is bdsm and what is being an asshole? How is this monogamy thing going to work out? Noah is not my tribe and I am not his; sometimes it is rather awkward.

Am I a pervert? I discovered a lot of lines for me today. I don't approve of a lot of people but I don't think they need to care. Well, saying I don't approve of them is a bit strong. I wouldn't make similar life choices. Those choices would be very bad for me and I don't think they are really good for them. But it's not my life.

How many train wrecks do I want to watch?

Harm reduction. I am monogamous in an effort to reduce the harm in my life. Is all nonmonogamy harm? No. Am I everyone? No. You can't look at statistical norms and decide individual needs. Should I bring up the bmi? As a species we (and I as a person in particular) aren't prone towards monogamy. That doesn't make it impossible--just a choice.

It's kind of funny to me--people who read my blog don't understand why I feel the need to think and think about monogamy. Ok we decided, move on. But I have to go explain it over and over again. And everyone gets a slightly different version of why and the details because not everyone deserves the same disclosure from me.

I'm an asshole with big hurdles. You have to go find my public blog on the internet if you want to know personal shit about me. I'm not going to just tell you or anything. Psh. Do you think I'm easy?

It was weird going out today and thinking, "Yes. This is my tribe. Wow. We are very broken." Twelve years of Folsom. I haven't gone every year but I think 10/12.

Can't type more. My computer isn't recognizing the ergo keyboard. I'll ask Noah to poke at it. Or he'll read this--either way the message will get through.

4 comments:

  1. It was my first time. I saw many tribes there; it was beautiful.

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  2. And even with our (my and his, though you may well choose to be in our "our" as well) monogamy-of-sorts, we still think and think about what that means to us. We are mostly monogamous because we don't have the energy to be poly. But if we had more energy, what would our poly look like? Probably pretty similar to the way our current monogamy looks. Which is not the monogamy that my father practices. But then even he is more non-monogamous than he likes to think (though if pressed, I think he'd agree).

    Oh, and your note about the "go find my public blog if you want to know" reminded me of a quote by David Hyde Pierce - "My life is an open book. But don't expect me to read it to you." (I hope I got that right)

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    1. That quote makes me very happy. Thank you for sharing. :)

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